I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.