Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.