Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.