The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.