You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.