One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
It’s a terrible thing to appear on television – because people think you actually know what you’re talking about!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
