Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.