When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.