All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire.

I'm not a genius. I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out.

There's nothing in the world so demoralizing as money.

I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects.

The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.

A lie never lives to be old.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.

The future ain't what it used to be.

It ain't over 'til it's over.

Society is now one polished horde, Formed of two mighty tribes, The Bores and the Bored.