I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.