Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

No good deed goes unpunished.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

I'm single because I was born that way.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.