If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.