I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
It’s a terrible thing to appear on television – because people think you actually know what you’re talking about!
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.