I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.