I like to think of myself at home in the armchair, writing, smoking and occasionally wandering down the shop.

I may not be better than other people, but at least I'm different.

Passion goes, Boredom remains.

Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.

A good liar must have a good memory.

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

By desiring little, a poor man makes himself rich.

The word 'good' has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.

The paranoid is never entirely mistaken.

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.

There's no such thing as perfect writing, just like there's no such thing as perfect despair.

Wine is wonderful stuff. But so many people are put off by the snobbery of it.

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish.

God creates, I do not create. I assemble and I steal everywhere to do it - from what I see, from what the dancers can do, from what others do.

I've got a woman's ability to stick to a job and get on with it when everyone else walks off and leaves it.