It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.