If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.