Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Men are as faithful as their options.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.