Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.