I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.