It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I'm single because I was born that way.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.