I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?