We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.