If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.