Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.