I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.