But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Women are made to be loved not understood.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.