Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.