Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.