You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?