I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.