Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.