I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

Men are as faithful as their options.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.