Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.