He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
