Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.