I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
No good deed goes unpunished.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I'm single because I was born that way.