It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
