There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?