You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
No good deed goes unpunished.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.