I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.