Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.