Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.