We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.