When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.