Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.