I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Men are as faithful as their options.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.