I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.