All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.

I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

I'm single because I was born that way.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.