A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I'm single because I was born that way.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
No good deed goes unpunished.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity