You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.