Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.