Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.