It is better to be alone than in bad company.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member