Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.