I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
No good deed goes unpunished.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.