Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.