There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.