Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.