When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Men are as faithful as their options.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.