The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.