I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.