Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.