It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.